


Snowman's Chance

by AnonEhouse



Category: Calvin & Hobbes
Genre: Apocalypse, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 18:52:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11019453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: Miss Wormwood had been right about Calvin all along.





	Snowman's Chance

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

 

It was August and the snow was perfect, hard enough to sting, but wet enough to slop down into Susie's underwear. Calvin sat on his throne after he threw the slush ball and smiled at Susie who was shivering before him and silent because he willed her to be silent. 

"No school ever again!" he pronounced, and the children gazed up at him in adoration and cheered.

"And no work, either!" he added. 

The adults bowed down and groveled.

"No taxes! No debts!" Calvin flung his hands wide and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches fell from the gray skies. 

The crowd surged forward, scrabbling in the dirty gray snow for the food, growling and clawing at each other. It had been a while since Calvin had fed them. He petted Hobbes' silky fur while he watched his parents fight over a crust. His dad had a longer reach, but his mom was fiercer. Calvin was the son of perdition and the beast, after all.

Hobbes yawned. "Are you tired of being a tiger?" Calvin asked. "You could be a T-rex. In a fighter jet." 

"I like being a tiger," Hobbes replied. "If I didn't I would have eaten you years ago."

"No, you wouldn't," Calvin said, but he was not quite sure.

Hobbes eyes flashed red. "I might. It would only have put off the day of final reckoning a little longer. It's not as if you wouldn't have been reborn eventually."

"I might have been reborn a girl!" Calvin protested. "The Antichrist can't be a girl! People wouldn't take her seriously."

Hobbes examined his claws, but didn't answer. He looked up into the sky. "There are still a few countries you haven't corrupted. The world isn't ending just yet." 

"If you don't want to be a T-Rex, how about a sabertooth?" Calvin said, kicking his feet out to crunch against a skull. "I'm bored."

Hobbes tilted his head. "Will there be snacks?"

"Sure." Calvin stood up on his throne of skulls and bones. "That snowman isn't doing anything horrible. Who built it?"

The children pointed at a stocky, hairy man whose eyes were invisible under his uncombed mane.

"Moe," Calvin said in delight. "Remember all the times you beat me up and stole my lunch money?" Calvin's smile grew fangs. "Snacks," he told Hobbes.

**Author's Note:**

> For the 'Wild Card- using the prompt Hell/Heaven on Earth' square in my Tic Tac Woe bingo card.


End file.
